Author Robin Lieberman shares the story from her book, Searching for September, about Seppie who heals from emotional abuse.

Robin Lieberman is an educator and novelist with life experience in the areas of marriage, divorce, long term relationships, and middle age dating. Her own triumphs, and those of other women who have used her as their sounding board, gave her the impetus to write her debut novel, Searching for September. This fictional romance/suspense captures the essence of one woman finding passion in what ultimately becomes an emotionally abusive relationship.

Robin lives in Manhattan, enjoys world travel, spending time with her intimate circle of friends, and has a daughter, son, and three grand pups.

In this episode of Last First Date :

• Why Robin wrote Searching for September, a book about falling for a narcissist
• Key lessons about recognizing emotional abuse
• Why women stay in abusive relationships
• Red flags to look out for when dating
• How women can stop excusing the inexcusable

Tell us a bit about the book, Searching for September.

It’s about a divorced woman, Seppie, who is dating in midlife. During happy hour one day, she meets Teddy. He sweeps her off her feet and they begin a whirlwind romance. She feels she’s finally found her needle in the haystack. She has a strong connection with him.

She moves in with him and his daughter. He becomes controlling and tears her down. She stays and justifies his actions, hoping the original Teddy will return. This is common in abusive relationships.

What are some key lessons you’d like listeners to take away about emotional abuse?

Seppie had an idealistic view of what marriage and romance would be like. She carried those ideals in her head, thinking some magical man would sweep her off her feet.

• Lesson 1: Don’t live a fantasy painted by Disney or romance novels
• Lesson 2. Pay attention to red flags and don’t turn them into green flags
• Lesson 3: Heal after a relationship that didn’t work out before getting involved again
• Lesson 4: Know what will make you happy
• Lesson 5: Heal from childhood issues that keep you repeating patterns

What were some of the red flags that Seppie ignored?

• Teddy kept Seppie on the phone for hours, which felt amazing and flattering, but it was controlling,
• She was going to meet him for their first date by taking public transportation. But, he told her she should never take public transportation for a date. She should always be picked up.
• He asked her to move in too quickly.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

• Fear of being alone is greater than the fear of being with the wrong person.
• There’s an importance placed on being part of a couple.
• It’s comforting to feel needed and wanted.
• It fills a void for you.

How can women stop excusing the inexcusable?

• Show your authentic self and have tough conversations.
• Don’t just hope things will change.
• Accept men for who they are, not who you want them to be.
• Know what you want and need in relationships, speak up about them and set boundaries.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

When dating online, don’t text or chat too much before meeting. Go on a date as soon as possible, so you don’t waste your time.

Connect with Robin: Website: Searching For September

Robin A Lieberman on Facebook