Gosh, is it already the second month of the year? My holdover “to do” list from the end of 2022 is still lengthy. The holidays always tease me with the promise of “getting things done” without keeping my normal hectic routine.

But, this holiday did I…

• Tackle the attic clean out project. No.
• Work on my taxes. No.
• Create a new filing system. No.

And yet…

And yet, I used all that free time doing things that actually improved my quality of life.

• Did I read more? Check.
• Did I enjoy lots of good food? Doublecheck!
• Did I binge watch my favorite streaming shows. Of course.
• Did I get in touch with friends and family more? Check.

And that last one is the MOST important. So I don’t feel guilty about not crossing off everything on my “must get it done” list last month.

The Lifetime Value of Strong Relationships

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal supports investing in making and keeping connections. Titled “For a Happier Life, Invest in Relationships”, the article describes the results of a study conducted by Harvard University beginning in 1938 in Boston. The study followed two groups of high school males throughout their lifetimes to determine what most contributed to their overall happiness.

The first group of 268 boys was selected because their circumstances suggested they were likely to grow into healthy and well-adjusted adults. At least half of that group attended Harvard. While some were on scholarships and worked to pay for school, others came from affluent families who funded their education. The second group of 456 boys were chosen as the antithesis to the first group. They were deemed least likely to succeed because they came from indigent, poverty-stricken neighborhoods, and many from single parent homes.

These combined groups of young people were observed from teenage years into their 80’s. The goal was to identify the best predictors for a long, happy life. Survey questionnaires were sent regularly to participants, asking about their mental health and physical well-being. Amazingly, over the 85 years since the study began, the participants maintained an 84% response rate.

Although the second group of young people from poorer circumstances were not as likely to have been predicted to find lifetime happiness, the survey results told a different story.  The results were strikingly similar for both the privileged and the underprivileged groups.

So, what was revealed to be the magic bullet for a long life across both groups?

• It all came down to one thing: having strong, supportive relationships.

According to the Harvard study, “people who were most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest, mentally and physically, at age 80.”

The report goes on to say that “social connections in adolescence were better than academic achievement at predicting well-being in adulthood”.

A Powerful Endorsement for Connecting

Both from the Harvard study and our own experiences – especially during Covid – the results are in. By maintaining connections and relationships, we accrue resilience. The protective effect of social support can get us over poverty, through health issues and business challenges, as well sustain us during life crises.

Without social support, we may suffer from isolation, loneliness and even depression.

As Gloria Steinem’s quote underscores, we should work at being connectors every day. If we want happiness in the future, we have to build the foundation now.



Kindness and Empathy = Connection

Being a connector is relatively easy. It starts by thinking of others and then sharing words of kindness and concern. But one disclaimer: Connecting is something we do, not what we wait on others to do. The responsibility to initiate lies with us.

So get busy…there are less than 11 months of 2023 left. It’s never too soon to ensure your future happiness by the relationships you create today.

Please share with me how it’s going at Ann@AnnLouden.com.  Wishing you lifelong connections and social support!