One of the things I find over and over is that when people are looking to make changes in their lives, either personally or professionally, they often feel like they have to change everything all at once. What starts out as being inspired and motivated quickly leads to feeling overwhelmed resulting in the 3S’s; scared, small, and stuck.

They focus on the externals, body, money, career, and partnership, all of which are important, but they rarely think of starting with their thoughts or beliefs that may be stopping them. That’s because going on a diet can feel tangible yet learning to love yourself feels elusive and unattainable. Like they need to open the top of their head and have a metaphoric vacuum cleaner suck out all the old beliefs and then put some good ones in its place.

I say this jokingly but it’s true. What we don’t realize is that by shifting the narrative in our minds in a very specific and practical way miracles can and will happen. Not overnight, but when done consistently can make a significant difference in a pretty short period.

So how do you start?

Seven simple sassy words when strung together can make a HUGE difference in how to shift your negative self-talk and move forward in your life.

Drumroll please:

During your day take a moment to notice what you’re telling yourself, it could be about you, a situation, or life in general, and ask yourself:

“Does it serve me to believe this?”

Silence. Just Listen.

Answer: Most of the time it’s a resounding “NO” when you’re dealing with gloom and doom thinking.

Then ask: “What would serve me to believe?”

Silence. Just Listen. Be patient.

Allow your new way of believing to surface.

Thank yourself for examining and shifting the negative self-talk.

Then have what my friend Johanna calls, “Smart Feet,” and take an action that is aligned with this new belief.

Case in point.

I go into my local watch repair.

After a few back-and-forth exchanges discussing the replacement of a battery, he says,

“Do you still work, or are you retired?”

“I’m curious. Why would you ask that?”

“Well, you’re older so I figured you’re retired?”

“Are you retired?”

“No,” he insisted, “I’m too young.” He told me his age, which is only a few years younger than me.

“Here’s your battery for your watch.”

I walk out and notice the residual fumes of his comment wafting through my mind.

“Well, you’re older so I figured you’re retired.”

I take myself through the same process.

“Does it serve me to believe this?”

Silence. Just Listen.

Answer: “NO”

What would serve me to believe?

Silence. Just Listen. Be patient.

“It serves me to believe that retirement has no age attached to it, that I love my work, and am deeply fulfilled by it. Norman Lear, the Producer & Writer of some of the best TV shows is 100 years old and has 6 pitches into the studio, and has no intention of slowing down. It serves me to believe that I deserve to work with businesses where I come away feeling respected and treated well and uplifted.

I smiled and thanked myself for going through that process, being willing to make a shift, and immediately having “Smart Feet,” which for me is to google a new watch repair place, which is a block away.

As a motivational and resiliency speaker in New York City, I’m often brought in to decrease burnout and increase engagement, communication, and productivity. While it’s important to implement best practices in all of those areas, we first must ALWAYS start with being real with what we’re telling ourselves in the present moment.

Sassy Simple Seven Words.

“Does it serve me to believe this?” and then go through the process.

If you’re a heart-centered go-getter who wants greater meaning, success, and impact in your life, or you have an upcoming conference or event where you want your team to come away energized with tools to help them shift to be more connected and productive, let’s set up a time to speak.

Thanks for tuning in and not tuning out.