Paula’s first performance

These days, the world is captivated by stories of extraordinary women defying expectations, especially when it transcends age. Take, for instance, the remarkable feats of Diana Nyad, a sixty-four-year-old marathon swimmer, who will be always remembered for her extraordinary triumph: after many failed attempts, finally conquering the formidable journey from Cuba to Florida. Her saga inspired the soul-stirring and award-winning movie.

Much less publicized but also equally brave was Leslie Hamilton, a Manhattanite who embarked on her own, smaller, challenge: she conquered a 14-and-a-half-hour swim around Staten Island last year.

Then, there’s a awe-inspiring centenarian who celebrated her 100th birthday with a skydive, proving that age is no limit if someone loves challenges.

I’m sure that among our own Tomatoes, there are also many who pushed their limits and achieved remarkable things. I know that I stand among giants.

I’ve been used to breaking out of my comfort zone and overcoming challenges: I moved to foreign countries twice with no support and changed professions at least five times.

And then, in my fifties, when my life appeared to be fairly stable, a new challenge showed up: my heart was captivated by the acrobatics and aerial performances of a contemporary circus.  I am a theatre person at heart, after being a modern dancer and an opera performer, so the theatricality of this new type of circus spoke to me and inspired me to become a part of that world.

I soon found my new teachers: the acrobatic dance company, Lava, and a trapeze performer Heidi, who had recently come back from touring Europe with a French company.

When you watch circus artists in the air, everything looks easy and graceful. But learning how to do it, one is faced with a shock: everything hurts! My hands, from holding on to the trapeze, the backs of my knees from the move called the knee hang. Every new move brings a new area of pain: shoulders, forearms, ankles, etc. I was so convinced that I would never be able to hold on to the trapeze with my bare hands that I bought several pairs of thin cotton gloves.

So, why do we do it? I asked myself that question many times, mostly joking, while overcoming new areas of discomfort. My conclusion was that part of the motivation is the thrill of mastering something that seems impossible.  And there are other factors: trapeze brings back the childhood thrill of climbing, swinging, and getting upside down, the joy of play.

It also requires total concentration: not like watching a movie while you walk on the treadmill! You have to really be aware that your hand goes there, and your foot goes there, – and is it your right hand that goes there or your left hand? When you are upside down, all these things feel different!

Logically speaking, you can take it for granted that you will become stronger in many new ways. You will also increase your body awareness, your coordination, and you will discover a new relationship with space, engaging in a perpetual dance with gravity. You will learn how to really focus. All this is really good for your brain! But that’s not why we do it. We do it because we love it and it’s fun!

And surprisingly, the pain eventually disappears or becomes more bearable. I still have my cotton gloves! Because after a short while, my hands got used to holding the trapeze and they stopped hurting. The backs of my knees stopped hurting. My body became more resilient as I became more efficient with my moves.

Just when learning and practicing trapeze moves was becoming a routine, Heidi decided to challenge me and my trapeze buddies: “Why don’t we put on a show?” I was vehemently opposed: I am just a beginner! No matter. Heidi convinced us that focusing on performing will elevate our skills. It was time to select music, string together enough moves to fill three to five minutes in a way that would make artistic sense and design a costume.

Paula’s Hammock Performance

As the performance became closer, I could see that Heidi was right: I became much better! And when the performance finally came, I discovered that doing my piece in front of the audience was thrilling! The audience loved it! I caught the performing bug.

From then on, I always worked toward creating a piece to perform. Even after the recent break of several years caused by injuries and the pandemic, I still gave in to my current teacher’s encouragement and challenged myself to create a piece for a student showcase. It involved working through my emotional insecurity and the doubts whether I would be physically able to do the piece that I envisioned. I was extremely nervous, but it worked again: the audience loved it! I was the oldest among the performers – maybe that’s why they loved it? It doesn’t matter. I will continue to perform!

Paula wows the crowd!

My trapeze journey taught me that stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t need to require climbing Mount Everest. I step out of my comfort zone with each trapeze lesson. In my first lesson, once I learned to sit on the trapeze and hang from it by my knees, Heidi wanted me to stand up on it. Really? The bar is only one inch thick! And I’ll be seven feet above the ground! What if I lose my balance and fall? Heidi laughed:  “You signed the release, didn’t you?”

Eventually, I mastered standing up. Then I mastered holding on to the ropes and stepping off the bar. And then, learning one move after another, I created more and more vocabulary. But each new move still brings out the fear and the feeling that it’s an impossible task. There is always a possibility of losing my balance, of putting my foot in the wrong place, of losing my grip. And yet I continue to do it. As I said – I love it and it’s fun.

I invite you to step out of your comfort zone and join me in this adventure!