I was reminded by social media that 9 years ago this week was the first time I did a solo vacation to Paris. It was not the first time I was alone in Paris – a story for another day – but it was the first time I had planned to go by myself. That is also not how it had started: My partner-in-crime at the time and I had birthdays 8 days apart and were both turning 60. We decided we needed to do something special to celebrate, and so decided to go to Paris, as I had been a couple of times, but he never been and had wanted to go. Plans were made, and as we got closer to the date, he realized he could not take that much time off of work. So, I was left with a choice: Give up that plan and make a new one, or go it alone. I decided on the latter.
Since that time, I have gone back on solo trips several times. It is so second-nature to me now, that I had forgotten, until I read those posts, how I was rather nervous about traveling internationally by myself. And about being in a foreign country where I didn’t really know anyone, nor could speak more than a few rudimentary phrases. Who was I to do something like this?
As Marianne Williamson might say, Who was I NOT to?
It is said that courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I tend to think of courage in terms of doing something that you know you should do, but are afraid to do it. It has a more noble intention. But going on a vacation? Hardly a noble intention. What I had to do for myself in order to make that decision to go it alone was two-fold: One, I had to ask myself honestly if I really wanted to do this; and Two, I had to believe I had the right to do something for myself, even if it was not a noble cause, but merely to have fun and bring joy and adventure into my life. I had to believe I was worth it.
I am grateful to be able to look back at those posts now and recognize the courage it took for me to take that leap of faith. And, in doing that, it gave me the courage to do other things I wanted to do and experience.
As you go through your life’s journey, where do you hold yourself back because you don’t think you are worthy, don’t deserve it, feel selfish doing something for yourself, etc.? To further quote Ms. Williamson,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Take that vacation. Go to that event. Listen to your heart’s desire…and take the steps to fulfill it. Be an example to others. You deserve it. We deserve it.
