It’s Your Turn! Write Your Own Rules!

by Randie Levin

 We all live by rules. Those created for us for the common good and those that we create for ourselves. When we get married, we develop relationship rules. When we start our families we enter into our family rules, in business we have protocols for how we interact, and where and when we show up in that business. Often, in the hustle of living we get stuck within the very boundaries that we have set for ourselves. Why? Aren’t they are own rules?

Yes, and No! The contracts we sign with ourselves in how we live our day-to-day usually do not contain a clause that allows for our own growth and development. So we enter into a relationship, start a business, raise our families within the framework of our own values and ideals and then somewhere down the road a year, or decades plus, we feel as though something is off, out of alignment, or just not right. We may think that the “balance” isn’t right in our interactions, or that a business or relationship is no longer working out. Sometimes we even discover that the rules that we created for ourselves may not really be our rules, but rather the playbook of a spouse, or child, or CEO of our company.

Where can we flip the script and star in the story?

We live one life…and many chapters within that life! Every chapter contains a new or evolving set of guidelines.  As “Tomatoes of a certain age” the celebration begins! At some point we all reach the part in our own legacy that is officially “our chapter/s.” It is at this juncture that the rules of life pivot, unearthing a whole new set of opportunities and possibilities created around passion, joy, connection, inspiration, love, self-worth, and the ability to simply just be! It is at that exact point in time that we have the most autonomy to carve out and create our own legacy based less on the needs and thoughts of others and more on own individual fulfillment.  Creating legacy as a Tomato has magnificent depth and dimension because we have evolved to a point of really understanding what is most important to us within the framework of our own lives. We may be searching to rediscover ourselves, yet in the hunt to reconnect with our inner most selves comes a deep understanding of what’s next. What’s next is a new set of instructions adapted from our old set, tweaked in the present moment, and filled with renewal.

Bloomingdale's

Change the playbook and the plays change.

 It sounds simple. You assume that you will just do things differently tomorrow. You will change something. Except, you don’t. The reason why? You need to give yourself permission to change. In order for change to not only take place but also become a daily habit in your life, you need to give yourself permission to break the old personal mindset rules in favor of an update and a re-write. Breaking the old mindset blocks allows you to free yourself of what is not working in your life in favor of trying something else that may work. Letting go of one way of thinking allows you to welcome in a new belief.

Do This Now:

 Time to shatter the glass and break those rules? If so, grab a piece of paper and a pencil and make yourself a permission slip. At the top of the page write old rules on one side and new rules on the other side. For every old mindset rule and every fear that is holding you hostage from doing things differently there needs to be a partner new rule that will have you taking an action step toward the process of change in your life. This list becomes not only your permission slip and guide; it is also a positive way to manifest and reference the changes you most want.

Ask yourself the following:

  • What values and systems are you living by that you cannot imagine living without?
  • Where do you feel that these guidelines have somehow become excuses and are perhaps actually getting in the way of your own growth?
  • Are the systems you employ to run your life getting you closer to or further away from your goals and dreams?
  • How can you give yourself permission to change?

It’s your turn to play Tomatoes! In the game of life what rules work now? Compare your lists. Now begin. Permission slips out! Begin!


Randi Levin CPC, founder & CEO, Randi Levin Coaching—is a transitional life strategist, author, speaker, and reinvention expert. Her core belief is that as women, we have the choice and the power to carve out and curate our own legacy based on embracing our ongoing evolution. Women in their 20’s make sweeping life-long decisions that no longer align with a 40, 50, 65 or 80-year-old version of themselves. Utilizing a “what’s next mindset,” Randi applies her Signature GPS Coaching System incorporating growth, purpose, and success steps to support her clients in pivoting and refreshing their lives empowering them to be the best reflection of who they are today. She is a contributor and featured expert for Huffington Post, Thrive Global, DivorceForce, and a variety of national publications and podcasts. Her workshops have been featured in The Wall Street Journal and she is a contributing author in the anthology series Get RESULTS!    www.RandiLevinCoaching.com |Randi@RandiLevinCoaching.com |Cell: 201-803-1333

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