12 Lessons on Leaving A Relationship

by Love & Sex Guest Experts · March 28, 2018

By Michelle Afont, author of The Dang Factor

A breakup or a divorce can make you feel as if your entire world has come crashing down around you. When a relationship you believed in comes to an end, it can feel as though every conceivable emotion has taken over your being. Shock, anger, disbelief, denial, sadness, and pain often become your new best friends.

Despite the pain, research shows it is the manner in which you leave your prior relationship that will set the scene for your future relationships. If you are going through a divorce or trying to survive a breakup, these lessons on leaving will help make your road to becoming single a bit less bumpy as you pave your way to a better-fitting future.

12 Lessons on Leaving

Do be civil. It can be tough to be pleasant when a relationship ends, but your breakup attitude will set the entire scene for your future.
Do take responsibility for any role you may have played in the breakup. Learn and grow from your missteps of love.
Do focus on the good that came out of the relationship.
Do accept the fact that something was broken in your relationship. Devoted couples do not break up. For a relationship to work, both parties must be equally committed and smitten with each other.
Do get excited about your future. Your future is now a blank white canvas, and you get to paint the picture.
Do not wallow in what “was.” What was in the past was apparently not working. Stay focused on what “is,” as in, “Your future is going to be amazing.”
Do not obsess on the reasons for the breakup. Use the reasons as a spark for reflection and self-betterment.
Do be dignified. Be fair and reasonable in the division of any assets.
Do not wish him a lifetime of unhappiness. That serves no purpose other than to keep your life from moving forward in a positive and productive way.
Do resist the urge to talk negatively about him. You could end up getting back together, so there’s no need to publicize his faults.
Do wish him well and mean it. Not all relationships will last a lifetime. Use this newfound time in your life to rebirth yourself and emerge as a stronger and self-loving woman.
Do love your children more than you dislike their father. Parental alienation is real and causes permanent damage to children. Trust me, I know rising above someone else’s behavior is not always easy, but for the sake of your future and that of your children, make every effort to be the bigger person. Your attitude will determine your children’s altitude, as they soar to reach great heights throughout their life.

As difficult as it may be in the moment, following these twelve lessons as you leave a relationship will help set the stage for a new – and even better – one.

Michelle Afont has been a divorce attorney for over twenty years. In addition to her work in the legal field, she has also served as a life advisor, helping others to take the necessary steps to live their best lives. In addition to The Dang Factor, Afont is also the author of The Dude Factor and The Profile Factor, and is an available speaker. Learn more about Michelle at www.thedangfactor.com and connect on Instagram (@michelleafont). The Dang Factor is available for purchase on Amazon.