3 Biggest Mistakes in Online Dating

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by Sandy Weiner

mistakes in online dating

Watch this video to learn the top 3 mistakes, so you can turn them around and find love online – even during the pandemic!

If you’re dating online without success, you’re probably making these 3 deadly mistakes. In today’s video, I’ll reveal the most common mistakes in online dating, and how you can turn them around to find love online!

3 Biggest Mistakes in Online Dating

Mistake #1. You wait for men to initiate contact

Most dating advice says women don’t chase. It’s a sign of desperation or low self worth if you send a first message to a guy. I disagree vehemently. My dating philosophy is based on principles, not rules. One of my principles is to be assertive, not aggressive. Sending the first message is a way to assert yourself, to give a man a green light, not ask him out, not tell him you’re in love with him. Just a little nudge in your direction.

What happens when you don’t send a first message? You get whatever falls into your net, which is often NOT what you’re looking for. When you initiate contact, you are empowered to be the chooser. Plus, someone outside your search preferences might not find you, but you will find him.

Mistake #2. Your messages aren’t compelling enough

If you’re tired of messages that say, “Hi, gorgeous!” or “You’re the woman I’ve been waiting for. Let me tell you about me…”, start taking the lead and write to men you like. Think of it as dropping a handkerchief or giving a man a green light. You’re letting the men YOU CHOOSE know you like their profile and you want to start a conversation. 

What if you write to a guy, but he doesn’t answer? It can be very frustrating if it happens over and over. What can you do? First, don’t take it personally. 

Guys don’t respond for a variety of reasons, such as:

  • They’re not paying members on a paid site like Match.com, and can’t read or respond to your messages.
  • They have a busy life and don’t check their dating apps every day.
  • They’re popular and receive tons of messages.

You can’t do anything about non-paying members and busy men. But you can do something about men who get tons of messages. You can write messages that stand out and get noticed. 90% of the people dating online write ineffective messages. You’ll have the advantage if you write a compelling message and stand out from the others. 

Here’s how to write a compelling message: 

  1. Start with what piqued your interest in his profile. Example: I noticed you’ve been to Italy.
  2. Share what he should know about you. Example: One of my favorite trips was to Venice, Rome, and Florence. I loved visiting the amazing museums. Can’t wait to travel again.
  3. Ask a simple question. Example: When the pandemic ends, where are you going to travel first?
  4. Sign your name

Mistake #3. Your profile doesn’t stand out

Online dating sites and apps are your marketing platform for love.The way you present yourself online gives your ideal match a small window into who you are in real life. An effective profile is designed to attract your ideal match – and get him curious enough to want to get to know you.  

The purpose of your profile: 

  • To attractthe right men and keep the wrong ones away
  • To show yourauthentic self
  • To describe you in short stories, not a list of adjectives
  • To show your positivity
  • To share varied highlights of your life
  • To show him you value and respect yourself
  • To reveal that you’re multi-dimensional
  • To demonstrate your relationship standards  
  • To show you’re flirty and fun, and he’d be lucky to have you in his life!

Want to finally have success in online dating? Join Find Love Online During the Pandemic

Author

  • Sandy Weiner, Dating Coach and Chief Love Officer of Last First Date, is devoted to helping women achieve healthy, off-the-charts love in the 2nd half of life. She’s an internationally known dating coach, blogger, radio host, communications expert, and TEDx speaker. Discover why men disappear...and how to finally attract the love you deserve. http://lastfirstdate.com

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