by Brigitte Weil

I’m a Matchmaker. I spend hours daily debating whom I should introduce, and why. I don’t have a formula, because a lot is based on intuition. But my intuition is not random. If I break down the qualities I look for in a solid match, there are certain qualities that exist in two individuals that predict potential for a healthy and happy lasting relationships. Those qualities are usually based on commonalities that are shared, common threads that run deep to the core of who we are, so they feel right to us. Did you ever feel “at home” with someone you’ve just met? Or feel like you’ve “known them forever,” even though you’re on your first drink? These are the dates where it feels like you’ve hit it off, right away. If so, you probably shared some of the qualities listed below. If you’re wondering whether your relationship has what it takes for the long term, here’s what you need to be looking for:

1-Money: It’s less important how much money someone makes, it’s more important how you both choose to spend it. Are you savers or are you spenders? Will you agree to spend your bonus on a luxury cruise or would you agree to spend it instead on finally putting on that long-overdue new roof? Money is a very personal, charged, and a complex topic. There will always be less tension if you jive with each other’s spending habits.

2-Lifestyle: are you an early riser or are you at your best at night? Do you jump out of bed in the morning, ready to head out for an adventure or do you prefer to lounge at home in your jammies until noon? Do you both work similar hours? Do you see dinner as a long, relaxed several course meal or prefer to eat on the run? Compatibility of timing is crucial in order to spend quality time together!

3-Family Orientation – family size doesn’t matter, the importance of the relationships do. If he has 7 siblings and you are an only child, you can still relate better if family relationships are meaningful to both of you. If your idea of Christmas is surrounded by a full house of relatives and his preference is to hop on a plane and escape under a palm tree, it could cause tension.

4-Vacation – most of us have limited time to take trips, so are you on the same page with the kind of trips that excite you? These are really good questions to ask – even on a first date – ask him or her what was the last vacation they took, or what are they planning next? If your idea of a vacation is rebuilding homes in Costa Rica …and his preference is digging his feet in sand at the beach with a Pina Colada in hand, you may not be on the same page.

5-Core Values – What drives each of you to get out of bed each morning and what matters most? Being successful? Achieving financial wealth? Making the world a better place? Ending world hunger? Taking care of your body and mind? Shared core values pave the way for a peaceful rapport where you do not have to explain or defend what is meaningful to you.

6-Goals – What are your goal? What are you working towards, together? Do you want the same things in 5, 10,15 years? What’s your plan and are you hoping for similar futures? Building a solid foundation to a happy coupling takes time, yet the path will be smoother and longer-lasting when those dreams are shared.

Brigitte Weil is an unapologetic food lover, dating coach, matchmaker, and motivational speaker who believes that life is too brief to give up chocolate, pizza, dirty martinis or dating. She is the founder of life-changing coaching programs that teach women how to live thrilling happy lives with ease. Brigitte is a graduate of The Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, NY, a Paris-trainer pastry chef, a Certified Personal Trainer, Matchmaker, and Dating Coach and remains committed to developing Coaching programs that support her philosophy of combining her passion of food and fitness with balance to create the delicious lives we desire. She can be best reached @ brigitte@brigitteweil.com