If you raised your hand and yelled “yes”, you wouldn’t be in the minority. What makes us anxious? If you said “everything”, no one would be surprised.

Today we have a front row seat to acrimonious ideological and political divisions at home; the threat of international conflicts and concern over whether the United States will be drawn in; and the impact of calamitous global climate events on insurance premiums, community stability, travel planning, and overall peace of mind.

Closer to home, we experience an economy buffeted by inflation, a real housing crisis, the struggles of migrant communities at our border and in our cities, plus worry about the future of Medicare and social security.

Long-lasting impacts of the pandemic still remain: friends and neighbors come down with Covid (even though vaccinated and boosted, I caught the summer strain and was sick for three weeks); the health care system remains stretched to the max (I can’t recall a time when it took months to get doctor’s appointments or referrals to a specialist); and the cost of drugs and health insurance has never been higher.

And perhaps worst of all, our sense of connection to each other is slipping. Children and grandchildren struggle to keep up in school and don’t know how to make friends or relate to each other. Old fashioned neighborhoods are not as common as people move more and establish fewer roots. The traditional way of meeting people at work has changed with hybrid work-from-home arrangements. It all adds up!

4 ways to stay connected through volatility

Whenever I feel down, humor gives me perspective. The brilliant comedian Robin Williams said:

“If Heaven exists, to know there’s laughter, that would be a great thing.”

In that spirit, here are four ways to stay connected and feel less lonely:

• Figure out what makes you smile, and share it with others.

With practice, we can find what delights us in everyday life and use it to brighten someone’s else day. For the last five years, my significant other and I have been hiding a shoehorn for the other to find. Sometimes, it takes months to be discovered; other times it’s less than 24 hours. Whenever it’s found, we ALWAYS laugh. The game is so much fun we commit to keeping it going.

• When possible, say no to zoom and yes to one-on-ones.

In my volunteer life, I write pro bono articles about nonprofit organizations and the good work they do. To develop the stories, I conduct many interviews. While it would be less time-consuming to speak to donors and staff by phone, I am intentional about requesting in-person meetings. How much more valuable (and often entertaining!) to meet someone on their own turf. Not only do they appreciate that you come to them, they are often far more open in sharing their stories.

• Always ask one more question.

If you want to build relationships, the most direct way is to get past the small talk. Niceties are just the first necessary layer of building a connection. For example, I spoke to a nonprofit donor today who told me she supports a cause because she believes in it. I responded: “And why is it meaningful for you?” When she opened up about how she loved mentoring children because she had none of her own, we moved past pleasantries to a deeper connection.

• Get out and show up.

It’s almost always in our power to meet new people. But to do so, you may need to make the first move. I recently joined a professional association where I know no one. To get engaged, I have sent messages to the leadership team introducing myself. Almost everyone has answered. Then I took a second initiative by suggesting we meet. I now have several get-togethers on the calendar and can’t wait!

Remember, you never have to go it alone.

When you take responsibility for building your own connections, you can shield yourself from feeling isolated. Does every initiative you take work? No, but don’t give up! Once you start having success, it creates a snowball effect.

You’ll reap enormous benefits in good mental health, new opportunities, and friendships. I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you. Write to me and share your stories at Ann@AnnLouden.com