Goals Are Useless?

An excerpt from How to Dance in the Chaos by Phyllis Haynes

So many things pull at us, market to us, and saturate our surroundings with the views of others, but where is our genuine voice, and how do we distinguish it amid the flurry of other voices? The modern oracles implore us to “Follow your heart,” but how do we find the voice or true narrative of the heart when we can’t distinguish its voice from the cacophony of voices?

How the hell do you figure out what you really want?
It took me years of reflection to get the power of my desires. My mother used to say whenever I used the phrase, “I wish…” She would say “Wish in one hand and “sh….t” in the other.

She never really said the word, but the message was clear: Wishes had no value. Wishes were a waste of time. Hard work, nose to the grindstone, was her view. She was a loving mother but with an old-fashioned view of how to work and achieve.

I studied goal setting and strategic planning with some of the best people in the world. I even delivered workshops and programs on “getting things done.” The most consistent challenge that seemed to stall people in their quest was:

They had not done the work to find out what they wanted. 

So here is what I learned for myself. What you really want is the fuel for achieving results. Frustration, lack of motivation, procrastination. All that goes out the window when you are making goals aligned with your true desires. Authentic desires are the fundamental operating system. They drive you instead of you having to force anything.

Here’s a clue to discovering what you want: 

What would you do at 3:00 in the morning if someone knocked on your door and said you have to do this work (and there was no pay.) What would you joyfully do?

True desire is like photosynthesis and tropism. Plants turn to the sun. It’s in their makeup.

What are you drawn to? 

What is your true go-to? 

It will take time to discover. You must observe yourself, your mind, and what brings you real joy. Then, you can write your goals.