by Brigitte Weil

I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love the lights, the smell of cinnamon and pine, connecting with family and old friends, slowing down, taking the needed and well-deserved time away from the daily routine.

I hate the explosion of holiday goodies that suddenly appear everywhere: the cookie platter at my hair salon, the chocolate towers that arrive at the door, the eggnog that tastes too good, the parties with tiny innocent-looking but dangerous cocktail franks, too much creamy artichoke dip, and of course, the same question I heard last year: “Why are you STILL single?”

Not being at your weight goal coupled with still being single, is like a double whammy. OUCH.

Just because I am a food and dating coach, I am not immune to these same holiday struggles. It’s hard work to navigate the festivities and even maintain weight, especially when Christmas cookies are dancing in front of us and our well-meaning friends and relatives are telling us why and what we need to do to NOT be single.

Not feeling great about our current dating or relationship status feels especially painful at these times, when it seems like we’re working so hard to be our very best selves.

It also often seems that throughout this season of indulgence, the same most well-meaning friends and family want to make it easy for us to indulge. You can probably hear their familiar pleas already:

“C’mon … just one bite won’t kill you!”

“But I made this especially for you!”

“You can lose weight (and look for a man) after the holidays!”

Tough situations call for tough discipline, which often is further challenged  after a couple of sips of that festive eggnog. To guarantee we come through the season with peace, joy and ease, I came up with a strategy to quell even our most nudging loved-ones.

For the food pushers, use these three little words that work like holiday magic:

“NO, THANK YOU.”

You might have murmured those three simple words in the past, but if you weren’t convincing enough to stop that huge slice of pumpkin cheesecake that was placed in front of you, it’s because you missed the MOST IMPORTANT aspect of the three little words: your tone.

The trick is all in the delivery: You will need to use these three words firmly and decisively with all your well-meaning fans.

The key component is to add a big smile as you say, “No, thank you.”

Practice saying it again and again, and you will get better at it. Don’t forget the smile.

You will need to use the same tone and the same smile for the relationship pushers and use these words:

“I’m enjoying the holidays todays and it’s so good to see you/I love your new haircut/did you catch that play on Broadway, etc. Redirect the conversation, and don’t forget to use your most confident and assertive tone, and don’t forget that big smile.

As you perfect your new skills, you will become a master at gracefully refusing food and shifting relationship concerns. You will walk away without guilt, regret, hard feelings, awkwardness, or discomfort. You’ll get through the holidays with ease and confidence, so you can truly enjoy a wonderful, joyful, and peaceful season.

Brigitte Weil is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Weight Loss Expert, and the founder of The I Hate Celery Sticks Strategy, a life-changing Coaching program that redefines old conventional views of dieting and promotes an approach designed for lasting success without crazy diets, silly gimmicks, or giving up the foods we love. Brigitte is a graduate of The Culinary Institute of America, a Paris-trainer pastry chef, a Certified Personal Fitness Trainer, and remains committed to developing private and group Coaching programs that support her philosophy of balancing passion of food, fitness and falling in love to create the lives we desire. You can reach her at brigitte@brigitteweil.com