How to Build a Dating Wardrobe
You recognize Iris Apfel of the oversized glasses, the red lipstick, and the “look at me!” attire. An American businesswoman, interior designer, fashion icon and actress, Iris has known for decades how to create a look. At 102, she is iconic for the impression she has made on the fashion industry and her fans. With her mantra “more is more, and less is a bore”, Iris’s Instagram account boasts millions of followers.
What’s Iris’s fashion flair got to do with dating in mid-life? Everything! She has gone boldly throughout her life to create not just a look, but a brand. You can too!
When you decide to date again after a divorce or other relationship change, you get an opportunity to reinvent yourself. The easiest makeover is with our wardrobes. It doesn’t involve cosmetic surgery, weight loss, or even a new hairstyle!
Wearing the right clothes is the simplest way of becoming a new you.
How can clothes build confidence?
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved clothes. Maybe it was because I wore a uniform to school five days a week for 12 years that I desperately wanted a more appealing alternative on the weekends. Maybe it was because my maternal grandmother and my mother adored great clothes. Or maybe it was because Madison Avenue ads had a trickle-down effect in the South where I was raised.
Whatever the reason, I planned and plotted what I would wear every day I wasn’t required to be in uniform. I delighted in laying out outfits on the bed, and mixing and matching accessories. Fast forward to adulthood, when I began dating again after a 24-year marriage and divorce, my love of clothes was the hidden weapon to give me courage to begin my dating journey.
Why do I believe clothes matter so much?
Because how we look affects how we feel about ourselves. And how we feel about ourselves gives us confidence.
Three ways clothes make us more confident:
- The affirmation we receive from others – Our wardrobe makes a statement without saying any words at all. We are letting the world see who we are. When the world notices by the compliments we are given, it’s a confidence booster.
- By giving us a seat at the table – Just as I had a uniform at school, what we wear in certain environments gives us immediate entrée. Even if no dress code is stated, there is often an unwritten one. When we adhere to it, we are accepted with no questions asked.
- Through the mood they create when we wear them – The fabric, the fit and the form of our clothes can say who we want to be in that moment. Flirty or playful? Serious or authoritative? Mysterious or alluring?
Nothing is wrong with any of these, or a combination of them. Just know that wearing feathers vs. wearing a starched white blouse will communicate a very different message!
What exactly are date night clothes, and do you have any?
When I faced the laborious task of cleaning out my closet in preparation to leave Texas after my marriage, I asked friends to help me. We sorted my wardrobe into three categories:
Business attire – suits, jackets, slacks, scarves
Casual attire – jeans, sweaters, denim
Date night attire – breezy, flowing, dress-up, feminine and flattering
I quickly realized I had less of the third category and needed to add a few more outfits that would work for “Here I am” dating looks.
Three steps to building a dating wardrobe
- Identify the color(s) that look good on you. Don’t know? Ask a friend. My colors happen to be red, pink, yellow, and black. You’ll have your own which light up your face and capitalize on your skin tone.
- Select a style that works for you. I look best in fitted clothes cropped at the waist. You might prefer long lines or a specific pattern. Take an honest look in the mirror to decide.
- Choose a texture that you enjoy wearing. For dates, I love silk, satin, knit jersey and chiffon. And in winter, velvet. You’ll have your own favorites which make you feel good in your own skin!
Armed with the right look for you, you’ll enjoy dating experiences that much more. Just remember to find what works to make you feel confident and comfortable.
Let me know how you make a wardrobe statement for your best dating adventures! I would love to hear. Write to me at Kate@KateSomerset.com.
Kate Somerset is a pen name for the author of “Mom…You Just Need to Get Laid: The Adventures of Dating After Divorce”. A relationship expert and coach, Kate was a well-established figure in Texas before her move to New York City three years ago. After her 24-year marriage ended, she picked up stakes and took a chance on a second chapter in Manhattan.
Embracing living in New York, Kate sees every opportunity as an adventure. She revels in the sights and sounds, life in a high-rise building, and the fun and madness of dating again after so many years. Although Kate misses her family, friends, and eating Texas salsa, New York has opened many new doors for growing, learning, laughter, and love.
Learn more about Kate at www.KateSomerset.com. Her print and eBooks are available on Amazon. And she welcomes hearing from readers!
