March 1, 1945…a cause for celebration, or not?  As long as I can remember, I have greeted my birthday with great anticipation.  After all, it is that one occasion when it is all about YOU!  Cake, ice cream, cards, and gifts …coupled with the indescribable joy of bringing others together in your name….what could be better?

Strolling down memory lane, do you remember the feeling of leaving the carefree 20s? Conversely, the feeling as the clock turned 40 and the reminder that life only “begins at 40”, brings the expectation of changes in your priorities and values.  And, finally, that unforgettable moment when a membership application for AARP arrived in your mailbox! For many, that was the “nail in the coffin”.

Well, somehow, we got through it all…and as I arrive at my 80th, I feel encouraged that I am not alone in this passage.  Looking around at our favorite “Tomatoes”, there is the ageless Carol Sue Gershman about to turn 90, the dynamic Judy Katz, whose age of 84 is only a number…and, of course, the notable celebs including Julie Andrews, Judi Densch, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno and Sophia Loren….all of whom are “octogenarians” like myself.  Great company indeed!

Reflecting on the topic of aging, and “aging well”, I find myself philosophical and optimistic about the journey that brought me to this point and I want to share a few thoughts with you.  So here we go!

LIVING A FULL LIFE

“Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~ Albert Einstein.

And, oh, what a ride it has been!  Living a full life can be ticking off the items on your bucket list (guilty as charged), but it can also be about grasping every moment with enthusiasm.

As I think many have experienced, time seems to pass faster as we age. It is sometimes referred to as “log time” because, with time, each year becomes a smaller fraction of our entire lives. So, I’ve made it a point to savor every day, whether it is filled with grand adventures or just simple pleasures.  After all, you are only young once, but I can be a “kid at heart” indefinitely!

THE JOY OF TRAVEL

“Live your life by a compass, not a clock.” ~ Erica Jong

Being raised in a military family, travel is in my DNA.  My window to the world began at a very young age, as a child who spoke to my grandmother in German before English, as a “bambino” whose bedroom window overlooked Lake Como, and as a young teenager who fell in love with the serenity of the Japanese lifestyle. As an adult, the privilege of travel, and the expanded world view that it provides, extended into both my personal and professional life.   To date, my passport is worn thin and includes stamps from around the world and the continental USA.

It has been said that we travel not to escape life but for life not to escape us.  The travel possibilities today are endless for any age, budget or lifestyle….including cruising (I have been on 13 cruises), group travel, solo travel, and even volunteer vacations for older adults which allow you to immerse yourself in other cultures and explore the beauty of unique destinations with custom-curated itineraries.   And for special interest travel, there are multiple art packages including museum-based travel, and the rising popularity of wellness travel from rewilding to yoga and pilgrimages.

Travel can help you find purpose, enhance your worldview, make new friends, increase your serotonin, boost happiness, and even make you appreciate “home”!   My next travel experience will be an African safari.  Stay tuned ……the call of the wild is impossible to resist!

HEALTHY AGING

“Age is an issue of mind over matter.”

Health at age 80 is like a game of Whack-a-Mole…..just when you’ve dealt with one issue, another pops up.   Gone are the days when the girls got together and talked about current fashions, their “hot date” or other…….replaced by today’s chatter about the latest aches and pains, new medical cures and treatments…  and general agreement that while the spirit never ages, our bodies do change and evolve over time. For me, there is gratitude that the body has taken me this far and the new game is self-care.

For example, I was recently diagnosed with osteoporosis…..so what to do?   We live in a city where walking is a viable option.  Companies like OsteoStrong provide a real road map to build strength, balance, and bone health.  And most women I know (myself included) engage in some form of regular exercise, good nutrition, good sleep patterns, and social connection…. the “holy trinity” of mind, body, and spirit.  And the power of mind over matter.

Can we, therefore, embrace  the idea that natural aging is not a disease…it is strength and survivorship, positive attitude, triumph over vicissitudes and challenges, and a vision of better self-care while living your life, not your chronological age!

FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS

“Best friends are the people in your life who make you laugh louder, smile brighter, and live better”.

What would this world be without friendships?   Whether it is global friendships between countries, the friendships we remember as a child, or the friendships we have grown and nurtured over time, it is impossible to underestimate the lifelong benefits of strong, fierce female friendships.

As a military kid, who was in 10 different school systems before high school graduation, friendships were transitory at best.  I remember many times sitting in the back seat of the family car, waving goodbye not only to friends but to everything that was familiar.   For this, and many other reasons, having female friends is a gift to be treasured, to defend, and to earn.  As they say, to have a friend, one must be a friend…and the familiar quote that they will not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.

What comes to mind when you think of your closest friends?  A safe space to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment, searing honesty, fragile vulnerability, and emotional intelligence?  Who is that person who knows you best and loves you as you are…when you were young and foolish (yes!), when you said or did something you regret, or especially when you go through a life crisis and you just need someone to listen and to provide comfort?

If you are like me, friendships come in all “shapes and sizes”……..those that are the “sisters” you never had”, the ones whose wisdom and life experience provide new perspectives…and on a lighter side, those who know the best hairdressers, Broadway shows, and a book that you should read that might even change your life!

What would be do without our girlfriends? In the words of Socrates, “Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant”.

CAREER

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

My career has been a tapestry of experiences, each thread contributing to the whole. Work in government, not-for-profit, as a consultant, business owner, and in my most rewarding and lucrative moments, as an entrepreneur, specifically in the world of publishing, marketing, and health and wellness.  Like most of us, I have had successes and failures but learned from them both.

Some lessons learned as an entrepreneur include the secret of saying “yes” to new ideas (even if it may make you feel uncomfortable) ….being in the right place at the right time (which means always showing up)…facing your fears (when does fear end and excitement step in) …embracing change (we live in an ever changing world)…being accountable to yourself and others (my team has always been as important as my own interests)….networking (others will help on the ladder of success if you only ask) and … passion and purpose. Most importantly, the commitment to “making a difference”, helping others, and paying it forward in ways “large and small”.

“We make a living by what we get..we make a life by what we give”.  ~Winston Churchill

SPIRITUALITY

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience”.  ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The older I get, the more I realize that I know nothing.  Life is complex, life can be cruel, life can be beautiful, and much in life is out of our control, but there is always the opportunity to be open to harmony with the universe and to feel connected to something larger than oneself.

There is a spiritual fire that exists within all of us and I do believe that the more we listen to the voice within, the better we can hear with is happening outside of us.

I look forward to living the days ahead with gratitude and an open heart.

THE LAST WORD

“It takes a long time to become young.”  ~Pablo Picasso

It has been said that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened.  For me, much good has happened.  Every day is a new day to be experienced and aging has given me what I have always hoped for…family, love, enough work to feel productive, friends who are the gift that keeps giving, and the good health (knock on wood) to enjoy it all!  As I look back on 80 years, I can’t help but smile at life’s ironies, grow from life’s challenges, and marvel at its beauty.  So here’s to embracing the golden years, and the years ahead with gratitude, grace, kindness, and a dash of humor.  After all, age is just a number…and mine happens to be unlisted!