Overcoming The Diva Doormat Syndrome
Have you ever noticed, no matter how smart, accomplished, or successful you are, it’s still so easy to people please and not speak up for what you want, need, feel, or think. At least not in a way that’s going to support you or what you’re up to. It’s so human to flip-flop between being apologetic or getting so frustrated you go the other way and come across as aggressive.
But there’s a middle ground, I call it “Being Beautifully Honest!” But in order to do that we have to Overcome the Diva Doormat Syndrome, and yes honesty and kindness are great dance partners, they neither step on each other’s feet nor have two left feet! But it takes something to do that.
It takes courage, compassion, developing a whole new skill set, and mostly “unlearning” what we’ve been taught.
As a resiliency, mindfulness, and motivational speaker in NYC and a life and business coach, I’m often brought in to help groups and individuals have greater engagement, better teamwork, healthy cultures, and be more productive. What I find is that when you create a culture of kindness and honesty where team members dare to speak their truth, to have those difficult conversations, teams transform and people feel seen, heard, and impactful.
The great news is when you become “Beautifully Honest,” you claim a very deep, authentic, powerful part of yourself, you have more energy, you feel more true to who you are, and your relationships deepen because people feel like they know, like, and trust you, you’re being real.
You’re also naturally more creative, productive, and able to advocate for yourself and contribute to others, cause you’re not resentful, you’re real.
Intrigued yet? I hope so. Thinking “I’ve been people pleasing so long I don’t know where to begin” if this is you, I have some great resources for you.
Check out my podcast with Darcie Purcell of Too Cool for Midlife Podcast where we’ll discuss how to have those courageous conversations.
In this episode, we talk about how we can move from people pleasing to becoming beautifully honest with ourselves, our partners, and those around us using a mind + body approach.
Highlights include:
- How people pleasing affects our ability to be honest.
- Our early histrionics in people pleasing.
- How people pleasing is actually a form of manipulation
- Begin to practice bringing more honesty into your life with the “ABCs of honesty.”
- And why honesty becomes more important in midlife.
Attn: Recovering People Pleasers need some tools and tips on how to start speaking and living your truth and setting boundaries
.
Book a complimentary 30-minute “Stop People Pleasing Start Sparkling” Session with me.
Thanks for tuning in and not tuning out!
The tomato behind The Three Tomatoes.
Cheryl Benton, aka the “head tomato” is founder and publisher of The Three Tomatoes, a digital lifestyle magazine for “women who aren’t kids”. Having lived and worked for many years in New York City, the land of size zero twenty-somethings, she was truly starting to feel like an invisible woman. She created The Three Tomatoes just for the fun of it as the antidote for invisibility and sent it to 60 friends. Today she has thousands of friends and is chief cheerleader for smart, savvy women who want to live their lives fully at every age and every stage. She is the author of the novel, "Can You See Us Now?" and co-author of a humorous books of quips, "Martini Wisdom." Because she's lived a long time, her full bio won't fit here. If you want the "blah, blah, blah", read more. www.thethreetomatoes.com/about-the-head-tomato
