Speaking as a recovering victim of my inner critic, I recognize that historically, I’d been quick to “cut myself down”. I’d also been persistent in telling myself “how stupid that sounded” and was sharply cutting as I’d physically feel the shame in my own judgmental words toward myself.

The irony is that, when I practice self-compassion, I recognize that “I’ve got my 6”. I’ve got me. As I’ve been kind to myself, it hasn’t had the dreaded effect of making me lazy or saying silly things more often.

With this self-directed kindness, I can look at past experiences with perspective and recognize that while some experiences have indeed been difficult, not only did I persevere, the resilience I built acts as a present-day and future fortification.

This self-compassion has also brought empathetic clarity to Plato’s statement, “Be kind, for every person you meet is fighting a great personal battle”. This is the second tenant of Kristen Neff’s definition of self-compassion: Recognizing and Honoring One’s Humanity, which involves being aware that all of us suffer, have flaws and make mistakes. Additionally, recognizing our humanity reminds us we’re not alone.

Whether it be managing long-term anxiety, the void left in a child’s heart when a parent dies prematurely, or a friend being diagnosed with cancer, these are the realities of our days. We are each contending with the internal traumas of being human.

This recognition allows me to soften my heart and connect with people in an openhearted way— especially important as we’re a week away from, IMHO, the most important presidential election in US history.

As Election Day arrives next week, voting is only the first step. The follow-up is to recognize and honor your own humanity. Regardless of the way the political story ends, you owe it to yourself to practice the self-compassion necessary for perspective, and ultimately, resilience.

Cheers!

-Deborah Goldstein