I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my friend’s mouth.

We were out together for a fun night at a pizza restaurant. It’s an informal venue that offers trivia competitions for customers.

My friend is just a bit younger than me. I’ve been around the sun a few more times and fit into the category (reluctantly) labeled old. She’s approaching that same category.

We’re seated together as the other teams arrive and sit down at their tables. Our husbands were busy discussing which beer to order and my friend turned to me and said:

“Ugh, can you believe those women? They shouldn’t be wearing those clothes. From the back, they look young but when they turn around their faces are sooo old.”

I was stunned. My reaction to those women was the total opposite of my friend’s. I admired the women and how well they looked in their shorts and long hair. When they stood up to greet others arriving, I was impressed and touched by their advanced ages and boldness to sport cut-off and shredded shorts. They both had long legs and good lean figures. They were tall. Yes, their faces were worn from the sun and they had some wrinkling but that only made them more attractive to me.

I was triggered. In the spirit of not ruining the evening. I simply said to my friend that I admired the beauty of their legs and figures.

My friend’s comment hit me hard because I am grappling with those gnawing questions:

How I am supposed to dress now that I am “old?”

Do I have to cut my hair short?

Do I have to wear a sensible bathing suit?

Do I have to wear flat shoes if I am still comfortable in heels?

I prefer Dolly Parton’s look over the Golden Girls (although I loved them too.) Remember Charo? Rita Moreno?

What triggered me was coming to grips with the idea that people would be judging me.

I have friends that embrace being old and they don’t complain about their wrinkles. I admire them too, even though I do not feel that way and will continue to work towards avoiding wrinkles and doing whatever safe new techniques are out there to stay vibrant.

There is nothing wrong with accepting one’s age and being grateful for living longer.

I do see advances in medicine, nutrition, and longevity studies leading us towards a new definition of old and a new way of being.

Here’s a question for you. Aren’t you younger than your parents were at the age you are now? (This question is posed to those of us over 55)

Read more about this: “How Old is Too Old?”

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