The History Behind Valentine’s Day

As a child, I was a huge Elvis Presley fan (Okay, I still admit loving his music!). Then and now, my favorite Elvis song was “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You”. The melody and lyrics and Elvis’ incomparable delivery are goosebump inducing.

I imagined then that when I was older someone might actually sing the song to me on Valentine’s. Fast forward to now, and it has never happened! But that hasn’t stopped my fascination with the power of music to move us.

Valentine’s Day is a holiday where emotions are on full display. How did it come to be?

Here’s a brief history. The origin of the holiday dates to the third century when Roman citizen Valentine was imprisoned and later executed for ministering to Christians who were being persecuted by the Roman emperor. Valentine invited the ire of the regime by conducting secret marriage ceremonies for Christian soldiers who were not permitted to wed.

In the 18^th century, Valentine’s story was embellished: rumor had it that on the day Valentine was to be executed he wrote a letter to his jailer’s daughter and signed it “Valentine”. Thus began the tradition of writing love letters.

Not everyone knows how Valentine’s became a holiday, but who could miss the commercial aspect of the global celebration? From the sale of red roses, to candy, to heart shaped cookies, to greeting cards, to creative special occasion gifts, the pressure to commemorate the occasion is relentless.

The Dreaded Valentine’s Day Anxiety

Everyone wants to experience love on Valentine’s Day. It’s the one time of the year when it can feel awful not to have a special romantic someone.

The sense of feeling isolated and alone on February 14^th begins in elementary school when children ask each other to “Be My Valentine”. Those left out may undergo embarrassment and isolation.

As teenagers and young adults, if we don’t have plans for Valentine’s, we dread the years when Valentine’s falls on a weekend because it makes the absence of plans more acute.

And as adults, we are just as liable to feel despondent when co-workers, neighbors and friends receive flowers, cards or candy but we don’t.

Three Ways to Reframe the Meaning of Valentine’s Day

This year, broaden your view of the purpose of Valentine’s Day. Get ahead of apprehension you  harbor over Valentine’s celebrations that seem narrowly defined. Make the holiday a joyous way for you to honor loved ones. Don’t let the traditional approach of the day ruin your fun!

Here are three ways to make your Valentine’s Day meaningful:

• Don’t limit the scope of Valentine’s Day to romantic love. Think about the people you love who are closest to you and let them know how much you care about them.
• Be the initiator of your own Valentine’s Day traditions. Whether it’s a Galentine’s gathering, or making cupcakes for special friends, or treating a child you love to a special meal, don’t wait for someone else to recognize you. Take the lead!
• Write at least one love letter on Valentine’s. Put into words why you treasure a special person in your life. The act of writing a letter is redemptive for you, and will also create ripples of goodwill for the recipient(s).

Five Tips for Writing a Valentine’s Love Letter

How do you go about writing a love letter to a romantic or non-romantic interest?

• Write (or type) on beautiful paper. Your note or letter will become a treasured keepsake, so use paper equal to the occasion.
• Resist the shortcut of writing inside a pre-printed greeting. A blank page will generate a more thoughtful prompt for creating a heartfelt message.
• Be personal. Think of at least three specific reasons you admire and love the person you are writing. Anything less isn’t a letter; it’s a Hallmark card!
• Include a quote or song lyrics that inspire you. It’s entirely permissible to share words that move you.
• Show your sincerity by using clear, simple language. Example: “Loving you makes me a better person. Here are the reasons why (fill in the blanks).

Having Your Best Valentine’s This Year

Let me know about what makes Valentine’s special this year. I would love to hear all the ways you make the holiday relevant to you. Get going! And tell me all about it at Kate@KateSomerset.com.

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Kate Somerset is a pen name for the author of “Mom…You Just Need to Get Laid: The Adventures of Dating After Divorce”. A relationship expert and coach, Kate was a well-established figure in Texas before her move to New York City three years ago. After her 24-year marriage ended, she picked up stakes and took a chance on a second chapter in Manhattan.

Embracing living in New York, Kate sees every opportunity as an adventure. She revels in the sights and sounds, life in a high-rise building, and the fun and madness of dating again after so many years. Although Kate misses her family, friends, and eating Texas salsa, New York has opened many new doors for growing, learning, laughter, and love.

Learn more about Kate at www.KateSomerset.com. Her print and eBooks are available on Amazon. And she welcomes hearing from readers!