I was one of those kids probably like you who spent hours on homework. I was always on time for school and present despite long commutes to high school well over an hour each way.

This practice and state of mind continued throughout my career and home life…but now I am exploring a new way of being. What would life look like if my heart took the lead?

I am no expert at this.  All the warnings come up. The voices in my head:

“You’ll get lazy.”

“Netflix will own you.”

“You will go back to eating potato chips ( an old favorite I have given up.)

“Your butt will never leave the comfy chair.”

I said to those voices:

All these years I have done it the right way.  Let’s see what happens if I follow my heart.

So I did stay in bed a little longer in the morning.

I do love Netflix.

I had a few potato chips again…. But then some miraculous shifts occurred.

It was almost a complete reboot.

I couldn’t wait to hop out of bed.

Writing and doing my video production work began to flow in new ways.

I talked easily and smoothly and opened the doors to an old grumpy client (who didn’t seem grumpy anymore.)

I wasn’t desperately hungry trying to keep true to intermittent fasting, now occurring more naturally without effort.

What was the change?

I allowed myself to do what I wanted.  What showed up was I couldn’t wait to write, I was anxious to learn more new AI tech and new software.

Being completely present to myself was a key part of discovering my true desires.  Krishnamurti, a writer and philosopher describes the practice of catching oneself when one falls out of being present:

The moment that you notice you are not present is the moment you are most at attention. (This helps you recognize being present)

The practice of being present helped me recognize a genuine desire versus something artificial like the stimulus from advertising ( pictures of donuts).

I had to remind myself to get up from my desk. I was so engaged.

Also working out was not a hardship.  It felt natural.

How long will this last?

I don’t know, but I have learned not to ignore my desires.

I don’t belittle them as distractions from work but rather a calling from my heart.

It did take time for me to distinguish comfortable distractions from true desires.

Now I am on a roll and the “trick” is to be present.

It’s like learning to dance with a partner and allowing them to take the lead.  Sometimes you will accidentally step on a toe or try to control the movements.

Letting the heart lead feels like a lovely swirling dance where your partner holds onto you as you float on the dance floor.

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