On August 31, 2009, Canadian singer Michael Buble released his fourth studio album, Crazy Love. The title song “Haven’t Met You Yet” was co-written by Buble and dedicated to his wife who appears as his love interest in the music video. (Take 4 minutes to watch on YouTube and you’ll be happy you did!) The song was an instant hit in both Canada and the U.S. where it charted at #1 just a few months later.

Michael Bublé – Haven’t Met You Yet

Besides Buble’s on-stage charm and Sinatra-like delivery, what sets him apart are his musical selections. A modern day romantic, Buble performs songs that feed the hopes of millions around the world of meeting the perfect someone.

The lyrics of “Haven’t Met You Yet” suggest that your person is still out there. Keep looking, the lyrics urge. It’s just a matter of time!

As children, we are taught to believe in destiny, schooled in the notion that whatever is supposed to happen will. From childhood through young adulthood, we are fed connections. We meet friends through our families, at schools, and in our neighborhoods.

But what happens when we become adults? True, we are still fed connection opportunities through the careers we pursue or the places we live. However, what if our jobs and our geography don’t present easy ways to meet people, romantic or otherwise?

It’s our turn to initiate. It’s our turn to feed ourselves the connections.

Who haven’t we met yet? It can be limitless depending on the time and energy we give to it.

Be your own good luck charm.

Let’s suppose you shy away from making connections. Here are common excuses:

1. I am an introvert.
2. I don’t do small talk well.
3. I am not interesting enough.

Make no mistake. If you say these things and believe them to be true about yourself, you will stay isolated. Both science and anecdotal evidence has shown that the fewer connections we have, the more at-risk we are for mental and physical health crises. Because we are hard wired to connect, we shrink when we lack these important touchstones. What to do? It’s on us to take full responsibility to initiate connections with others.

If being a connector doesn’t come easily, here’s a trick. Think of yourself as a third party who needs to get connected in the world. What advice would you offer to yourself?

Here are five ideas:

1. Forget your personality type. Extroverts have no greater advantage of being well connected than introverts. Imagine walking into a room of 200 people knowing no one. The extrovert and the introvert will build connections exactly the same way – one person at a time. While the extrovert might not be as fearful as the introvert, both must introduce themselves, find topics of conversation, and engage in active listening.
2. Build your “small talk” skills. Say no to talking about the weather or traffic. Say yes to the topic of your work. But take it a step further. Rather than just saying what you do, reveal what intrigues you about what you do. Then ask the other person to disclose.
3. Don’t be hard on yourself. If you believe you aren’t enough…….fill in the blank: interesting, charming, young, wise, funny, etc.,  you own that grade. The other person doesn’t know you at all. How can they even have an opinion? You are the one who has sat in judgment of yourself. If you’re not for you, how can others be?
4. Imagine a worst-case scenario. If you are nervous to talk to someone new, ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen if you do. Now ask yourself what’s the worst if you DON’T! What if that person is someone who could introduce you to a person you really want to know? What if that person could partner with you on a work project? What if that person becomes a lifelong friend?
5. Take a chance. Imagine that the person you meet is going to change your life. Would you be resistant to speak to them? Far from it, you’d likely be excited and thrilled.

You just never know!

Every time you take the initiative to connect, you give yourself a chance to change your life for the better. Of course, you’ll have interactions that are forgettable or mundane. You’ll move on from those. But there will be others you could take that could alter the course of your future.

So, knowing all of this, how can you afford NOT to connect? Think of what you’d miss! You can’t begin to imagine will happen for you when you open yourself to the possibilities. I promise.

Good luck on your connection journey. I want to hear the life-changing stories of who you met and what amazing things have come of it!   Write to me at Ann@AnnLouden.com