Re-entering the dating world takes both courage and confidence. Saying yes to the unpredictability of dating again after decades can be daunting. Without question, dating today is radically different from our first dating experiences, likely long ago.

For starters, think dating apps and less structured first dates. Plus, we now know enough to feel anxious in ways we might not have concerned ourselves with as teenagers.

For example, do you conduct an exhaustive search about the background of the person you’ll meet? Do you stress to the point of indecision over what you’ll wear? Do you make a trial run to the location of your meeting place? Preparing for a date can be helpful as long as you don’t overwhelm yourself and aren’t frozen in place at its actual execution.

Just as important as considering the details about an upcoming date is adopting an open mind about how you show up in meeting someone new. In that spirit, consider the impact you’ll want to make with your ‘hello’.

Famous first greetings we know and love

Here are a few examples of charming and playful greetings from the classics — movies, books, and television:

“Gone with the Wind” (1939) – Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler:

When Scarlett and Rhett first meet, Rhett is immediately drawn to Scarlett’s beauty and spirit, but his rakish boldness catches her off guard:

Rhett: “Miss O’Hara, I can’t resist you. You need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

Scarlett: (flustered, but intrigued) “Sir, you are no gentleman!”

Rhett: “And you, Miss, are no lady!”

“Jane Eyre” (1847) by Charlotte Brontë – Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester:

Long imagined by Jane, the first significant conversation with Mr. Rochester has a definite undercurrent of attraction:

Mr. Rochester: “You examine me, Miss Eyre. Do you think me handsome?”

Jane: (bluntly) “No, sir.”

Mr. Rochester: (with amusement) “Ah! You really ought to flatter a man!”

“How I Met Your Mother” (2005-2014) – Ted Mosby and Robin Scherbatsky:

Ted and Robin’s first meeting is instantly flirtatious, with Ted falling for her immediately:

Ted: “You know, it’s funny. I’ve met a lot of girls in my life, but none of them are quite like you. I’m just going to say this: I’m in love with you.”

Robin: (surprised) “What?”

Ted: “Yeah, I know, it’s a bit sudden. But it’s the truth.”

5 tips for saying hello on a first date

When you first meet a date, it’s important to strike a balance between being friendly, engaging, and showing genuine interest. Your opening greeting may range from subtle to direct, or from warm to downright funny. However you begin, make sure the interaction fits your personality and feels right to you.

Here are five appropriate tips, no matter the choice of words or how you deliver them:

Don’t be wary. Be warm. Your very first words set the tone and help break the ice. Your hello should not be cautious. If you later decide you don’t want a second meeting, fine. At least give the first one the benefit of the doubt by your welcoming tone.

“It’s so great to finally meet you!”

“I’m really happy we’re doing this.”

Compliment Them (Genuinely). Say something nice, but don’t make it fake. If it is natural and you are impressed, say so! Your date will feel appreciated and more comfortable.

“Love your smile!”

“You have a great sense of style.”

Confess your nerves. Displaying vulnerability disarms your date and also puts you at ease.

“I was a bit nervous. But now that I’m here, I’m enjoying this.”

Express Your Excitement: If you were looking forward to meeting, say so!

“I’ve been thinking about this all week.”

“It’s terrific to finally be here with you.”

Share your intentions positively. Just don’t gush. You’ll look pushy if you mention you’re looking for a partner, marriage, or the romance of the century! Instead, start small.

“I’m looking forward to getting to know you better tonight.”

“I’m excited to see where this conversation takes us.”

Whether you adopt one or all five of these conversational tips, remember that your ‘hello’ sets the tone for all that follows. You’ll be surprised that knowing what you plan to say at the start helps takes the pressure off.

So give it some thought. You’ll come across as confident, genuine, and interested, which are keys to making a great first impression on a date.

I would love to hear your conversational  openers. Share them with me at Kate@KateSomerset.com.